CLEVELAND, Ohio — I received a sternly worded note from the U.S. Postal Service this past week. I read it while watching Attorney General William Barr explain that the two-year Mueller investigation found no evidence that President Donald Trump colluded with Russia in the 2016 election.
The subject line of the postal service note read as follows:
“Your mailbox has visitors. Please help evict these unwelcomed guests!!”
The note then turned threatening:
“Bird nest. Please remove. We do not want to interrupt your mail service due to this problem.”
The note initially annoyed me. I felt as if I were unfairly asked to tamper with nature. However, I also understood my mail carrier’s concern. He believed that a nesting bird posed an active threat whenever he dropped off my mail. But, why should I be tasked with rendering an Avian family homeless and risk destroying a generation of unborn birds?
The drama started a little over a week ago when a small nest appeared on my front porch. The nest was not in my mailbox but constructed on a camera stand that is mounted about 9 feet off the surface of the porch. My new tenant is a Robin, and she is incubating two beautiful, blue eggs that rest in the nest. (I took a peek.)
I briefly thought about attempting to move the nest to a tree in the front yard. That would have been a disaster, not to mention a possible violation of the Migratory Bird Treaty Act. I have been known to break stuff when moving humans into new homes. Besides, the bird chose my porch, not the tree. Nature is brilliant. There had to be a logical reason for her site selection.
That’s when I thought to call Larry, my next-door neighbor. Larry is one of the kindest men I’ve ever met. He’s also a retired postman. I realized he would be the perfect person to collude with regarding my bird challenge. Not only would he know whether the alleged threat posed by my freeloading tenant was legitimate – he might also have a solution.
“Yes, the potential threat is real. If you received a note, (our carrier) is obviously concerned, and you probably shouldn’t dismiss those concerns,” Larry said with a chuckle.
“Why don’t you just have the post office hold your mail for a few weeks until the birds hatch and move out on their own? That way, the birds can live in peace and (our carrier) isn’t threatened by a worried mother.”
It turns out my bird dilemma wasn’t really a dilemma. It took all of 60 seconds to fill out a form requesting that the post office temporarily hold my mail for personal pick-up. The counter clerk who took the form told me that she appreciated a solution that did not involve evicting the birds.
Thursday afternoon, I waited on my mailman in the drive to inform him of the decision on the bird nest. He wouldn’t need to deliver my mail for a few weeks until after the baby birds leave the nest. He smiled and nodded his head in agreement. He then offered me his experienced view on the hazards of some nesting birds.
“The birds can be worse than dogs. With an aggressive dog, you can spray (mace) down at them and hopefully that will stop an attack. Birds are a different a story. They attack from the air. An angry bird is more terrifying than a dog.”
“People think it’s adorable when birds set up a nest on a porch or around their home. But, mother birds aren’t adorable when it comes to protecting their babies. They’re scary. I know,” said the veteran mail carrier.
Nature is a great teacher. A bird moved onto my porch, and a government agency told me to evict her. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Now, I can’t take my eyes off of her. She serves to remind me that the beauty of colluding with life is far more important than the toxic politics gushing out of Washington, D.C., and relentlessly sprayed on the nation by cable news.
That said, I’m sure the bird and her offspring will generously thank me in poop.
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How I came to collude with a bird after being asked by the postal service to evict it: Phillip Morris have 797 words, post on www.cleveland.com at April 21, 2019. This is cached page on VietNam Breaking News. If you want remove this page, please contact us.