THERE are many good reasons why ITV's Good Morning Britain is the most written about and imitated show on television.
Central to most of them is the fascinating relationship between presenter Piers Morgan, who's having the time of his life hammering on about his great mate Donald Trump, and co-host Susanna Reid, who's clearly uncomfortable with the fact he fancies her but, for the sake of a very successful format, will probably now stick with the great bison-headed oaf until death.
It's a funny, complex and incredibly entertaining coupling, fraught with political tension and personal compromise, that seems beyond the reach of parody or satire, as you may have noticed if you were watching BBC1 have a crack at it last night.
A setting which may well have been the new show's first big strategic mistake.
Failure suits Alan Partridge so much better. It leads to frustrated ambitions, boredom and Alan dismantling his Corby trouser press at the Linton Travel Tavern, in the era-defining 1997 series I'm Alan Partridge, a show that would be on many people's "top ten greatest sitcoms ever" list.
Here, on This Time, written by Neil and Rob Gibbons with Coogan, he's suddenly been lumbered with a high-profile live format, heavily based on The One Show, which allows no breathing space for anything.
Another featured a graphic of a woman's brain that looked suspiciously like an old Harry Enfield sketch ("Women, know your limits").
And a third involved an interview, about hand washing, with a Professor Jean Chaudhary, which would've been lucky to make the cut on Amanda Holden's Big Top.
"Hygiene." "Hi . . ." "Hi, Jean."
The other thing I'm Alan Partridge had, of course, was a proper cast: Receptionist Sophie, constantly trying to suppress laughter on the front desk, Michael the Geordie, rival Radio Norwich DJ Dave Clifton and Alan's assistant Lynn Bellfield, brilliantly played by Felicity Montagu, whose cameo in This Time is probably the best thing about the show.
Other people do appear on This Time, including Emily Maitlis in a BBC lift. Everything rests, though, on Alan's relationship with co-host Jennie Gresham, played by talented Susannah Fielding, who's absolutely nailed Susanna Reid's steeliness (she pinches Alan's gags) and her wardrobe, but can't get close to demonstrating the inner turmoil or genuine anger that goes hand-in-hand with being "Piers Morgan's screen wife".
That's partly because, for all it's obvious failings, the one thing This Time With Alan Partridge is really missing is Armando Iannucci, the original writer, who clearly understood the character better than Steve Coogan.
He also acted as a brake on Coogan's ego and surely wouldn't have let him get away with the applause-chasing piece of exhibitionism, in last night's episode, when Alan acted out how to go to the toilet without touching anything with your hands.
Some TV shows already satirise themselves too well.
And once you've seen Piers Morgan playfully accuse Susanna Reid of having a "cocaine habit", at 6:10 in the morning, or giving her the once-over and turning to camera with a sly "I would, you know", two lame copies just squabbling over each other's lines isn't any sort of substitute.
Long may Good Morning Britain remain beyond parody.
Great TV lies and delusions of the week
The Greatest Dancer, Alesha Dixon: "Well, hasn't it been a brilliant series?"
Good Morning Britain, Ross King to Richard E Grant: "You have absolutely captured America, and I'm not just saying that."
And This Morning, Lizzie Cundy: "I've been doing the red carpet for ten years and it was hard work."
(Unlikely unless she got the Shake n' Vac gig a decade ago).
- Meanwhile, over on The Greatest Dancer final. Alesha Dixon on Ellie and Oti's dance: "It was so beautiful. Cheryl, what did you think?"
"It was so beautiful. Using that connection."
"Just seeing that connection you have, it's so beautiful."
"It's . . ." Don't bother. We get the point.
A right sitting duck…
Channel 4 and its reporter Alice Levine were shooting fish in a barrel on their Sleeping With The Far Right documentary.
The fish in question being a too-extreme-for-the-BNP character called Jack Sen (real name Dilip Sengupta), who takes out all of his self-loathing on the rest of the planet from his mum's bungalow in Southport.
Rather surprisingly, Jack's also got a Ukrainian wife, who thought he "looked like Keanu Reeves", although Vic Reeves might have been nearer the mark, with a side-helping of Wolfie Smith's character and Tony Hancock's Radio Ham: "I've got friends all over the world . . . none in this country, but friends all over the world."
Not how Jack sees it, obviously. In his own head he's a political visionary and intellectual colossus, even if he was too thick or vain to work out that Channel 4 owned the camera and all they had to do to win this encounter was wait for him to blow his fuse.
The explosion duly arrived, during a web-chat with Nick Griffin, after Levine had spent a cautious week gently prodding and talking down to him.
And it was everything Channel 4 ever wanted from the encounter.
I hope no sense of purpose or triumph should be attached to the documentary, however, until it's done exactly the same thing to one of the spittle-flecked, anti-Semitic crazies who now infest the Labour Party.
Anyone from the leader down will fit the bill nicely.
So many gardens, no party
The barmiest middle-class women in the country gave their all to a Channel 4 documentary called 100 Vaginas, last week, which was Laura Dodsworth's "thought-provoking" sequel to 100 Penises.
A prime-time hour of women displaying themselves both individually and collectively on an image that you'd almost swear was the wallpaper option on a Bill Oddie fan site.
One admitted: "My favourite place to masturbate is in the woods." Another said she wanted "a Brexit for vaginas". (You leave Boris out of this).
While a third medical miracle even claimed: "My vagina takes up a lot of head space." (You really want to get that seen to, luv).
The straw that broke that camel's toe, as always, though, was the dramatic contrast provided by the ad breaks.
One minute some crazy lady was explaining: " My vulva reminds me of a pink cupcake, with a little mole to the left of my labia that looks like a chocolate chip ."
The next we were being told: "It smells good, it looks good – it's The Great Celebrity Bake Off."
Don't even think about it, Mary.
RANDOM TV IRRITATIONS
Dancing On Ice never getting shorter.
BBC1's News At Six leading on the defection of three Tories but not seven Labour MPs.
Julia Bradbury going all shouty crackers on The One Show.
Every major bellend in the country suddenly dressing like one of the Peaky Blinders.
And This Morning following up Doctor Chris Steele's groundbreaking bottom wiping master-class with, I kid you not, breathing lessons.
And if you need help with that, probably best off not bothering at all.
Best quiz show answer of the week
The Chase, Bradley: "The Smithsonian museum collection contains a family bucket from what restaurant?"
Rob: "Gordon Ramsay."
QUIZ SHOW DOUGH-BALLS OF THE WEEK
The Chase, Bradley Walsh: "Douglas Dunn's book The Bagpipe People was chiefly set in what country?"
Tipping Point, Ben Shephard: "Eindhoven and Utrecht are cities in which European country?"
Ben Shephard: "A native Parisian is born in which country?"
And Ben Shephard: "Motherwell is a football club located in which country of the UK?"
Oh, Pauline. Does the name Willie Pettigrew really mean nothing to you?
THIS week's winner is Piers Morgan and Miss Annesley Kenealy, from a 1910 edition of Sketch magazine.
Sent in by Steve Mitchell. Picture research: Amy Reading.
The unlikely but memorable drowning scene on BBC1's Baptiste, which starts to make a lot more sense next episode.
The Sunderland 'Til I Die episode (five), on Netflix, where they even manage to lose a snowball fight to their youth team.
Goggleboxer Jenny on a news item about space debris: "Is somebody else's planet fly-tipping?"
And the only salvageable elements from a desperately dull Brits: Small doses of Jack Whitehall , the Calvin Harris segment and Nile Rodgers announcing the "Bread female winner".
Mother's Pride was robbed.
GREAT SPORTING INSIGHTS
Leon Osman: "Players benefit from working with top players week in, day out."
Jamie Carragher: "The one person United are missing is Lingard and Martial."
Paul Ince: "I'm not going to single players out, but Doherty was outstanding."
(Compiled by Graham Wray)
MOST READ IN TV
EastEnders mysteries of the month
Why has Louise forgotten she was blackmailing Sharon over her fling with Keanu?
What deep-space vortex has swallowed up The Albert pub?
And why the hell didn't Sharon, after his 30-year absence, tell Lofty: "Kathy and my dad have both risen from the dead, Michelle's had a head transplant.
Oh, and by the bloody way, I finished fourth in the 2007 series of Strictly Come Dancing"?
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